Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
