is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
