it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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