Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
