Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
