ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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