I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
