Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
