5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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