Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
