We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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