Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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