I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
