I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
