ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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