i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
