Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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