I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
