I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
