put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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