Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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