Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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