ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
