where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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