you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
