I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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