UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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