I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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