We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
