I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I touched a dick in church today
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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