I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This is the high leading the old right now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
