The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
