I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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