Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
