does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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