i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
