i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
