The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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