Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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