I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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