it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you win again, gameday.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
