Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
