To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
