His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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