So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
