12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
