I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
