I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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