Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
