Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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