you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
